Hannah Didn't Care


Hannah didn’t care that it was cold outside. She wanted to wear her blue dress, the one with the stripes on it. But her parents were making a fuss about what she wore and Hannah didn’t understand why. She sat on the floor of her room with her dress bunched up at her feet, too preoccupied to change into the required outfit. Hannah’s hair obscured her vision as she leaned forward. The gray light of the winter sun cast pale shadows across her bedroom. The walls were painted blue and pink due to her mother’s impatience at preparing a room for their baby. Hannah’s parents were were busying themselves in the other room, she could see their movement between the strands of hair that hung about her face. She grabbed Bunson and Lady Lily in her arms and walked to the hall. The slatternly purple bear hung upside down at her side, his green neck tie dragging on the floor. Years of outdoor adventures had left him in a condition only a child could love. Lady Lily, Bunson’s orange unicorn companion who had an unfortunate habit of getting into trouble, was tucked snuggly under Hannah’s arm.
Get changed right now, her mother’s voice was bitter, we have to leave. Hannah didn’t like when her mother used that voice, it made her feel like she’d done something wrong, like she was in trouble. Normally Hannah would plead her case but her mother’s harsh eyes finished the conversation. Hannah pouted as she changed her outfit. Her father helped her strap on her shoes, Hannah wasn’t very good at that. She wore her fancy shoes today, the ones that were uncomfortable. Her father seemed distant but he dug up a smile for Hannah anyway. Hannah’s pale skin and dark features resembled her father more than her mother, but she could upset easily like her. Can I bring them, Hannah pleaded. Lady Lily pranced along her father’s knees before giving him a peck on the cheek. Her father picked up Bunson and manipulated his arms into tickling Hannah. She giggled and then snatched the bear away. Of course, sweetheart, said her father, let’s get going.
Hannah didn’t care about the conversation her parents were having as they drove. She sat in the backseat with her animal companions. Bunson was currently engaged in helping the Lily remove her head from beneath the seat belt. He didn’t begrudge her for it but he had to wonder why she seemed to consistently find herself in peril. The drive seemed to last forever for Hannah, she drifted in and out of sleep imagining vast dreamscapes. Shadows danced across her closed eyes as the sunlight filtered through tree branches.
She awoke to her father lifting her out of the car. She was still in between sleep and awake and didn’t notice that her stuffed animals had been left in the car. Hannah nestled her cheek against  her father’s shoulder and continued to dream. She was riding on Lily’s back through a vibrant grassy meadow. The wind whipped at Hannah’s striped blue dress as her skin drank up the warm rays of sunlight. Lily turned her head to speak with Hannah and failed to notice the danger ahead of them - Lily stumbled and fell down a dark hole. Hannah looked up and saw Bunson smiling courageously down at them. Hang on, I’ll get a rope, he shouted. Bunson disappeared from sight as curious voices began infiltrating Hannah’s dream. She was a kind woman and she will be missed. Her eldest son, John would now like to say a few words. Hannah opened her eyes as her father handed her to her mother. She gazed through sleep-addled eyes at a forest of faces behind her. Her father walked towards the front of the gigantic room and stood at a microphone. There was a statue of a man hanging from a cross directly above her father. Hannah didn’t like the statue, the look of despair in its eyes frightened her. The air was musty and particles of dust were dancing across the beams of light piercing down through the glass windows. Rows and rows of wooden benches just like the one on which Hannah’s mother sat lined the towering room. Everywhere she looked, people sat and stared at her father as he began to speak.
Hannah didn’t care about all of the people and all of the words. She was looking around frantically for Bunson and Lily. Mommy. Shhhh. Where are they? Hannah, be quiet. Hannah’s lip quivered and when her mother ignored her pleas, the floodgates were opened. Hannah’s cries echoed throughout the spacious hall causing heads to turn. Her mother picked her up and carried her out of the building, crying all the way. As they walked together towards the parking lot, Hannah saw the stone building diminish until it seemed as big as a dollhouse. Her mother opened up the car door and Hannah was reunited with her favorite purple bear. Bunson was facedown on the seat but Lily had gotten herself lost again. Hannah and Bunson found her underneath the cushion looking for a snack.
Adults were talking and hugging and crying and drinking. Hannah didn’t understand why they were all here nor why her father was crying. Hannah tugged on her father’s arm and he picked her up. She touched his face where it was wet. Her father smiled and kissed her on the cheek. Hannah didn’t care for all of this sadness.
Her bedroom was eclipsed in darkness except for the sliver of light radiating from the rooms beyond. Hannah was tired from the day’s expedition, she pulled her blanket up over her head and closed her eyes. Do you think she even grasped what was happening today? Hannah could hear her mother’s voice outside her bedroom door. She’s too young. How are you feeling? It’s a whirlwind, I still haven’t had time to process it. She loved you. I know. Her parents voices dissolved as Hannah fell into a dream. Her eyes flittered open for a moment and she saw Bunson and Lily staring back at her. Hannah pulled them closer and fell asleep.


Hannah Didn't Care was written by Daniel Weinell and illustrated by Maribel Navarro.

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